They managed five wins in two seasons, now they boast two Nana's premierships...
He did the 2021 Nana's Draft via Zoom, sitting in his studio apartment in South Korea and - despite winning five games across the first two Nana's seasons - for some reason Bear Holland drafted a 30-year-old Daniel Rich with his first selection.
Heeney Some Milk had the youngest list in the league coming into 2021, but - after being delisted by reigning premier Nana Winner - Rich was too good for Holland to pass up.
It was an almighty change-up from the previous draft, in which 19-year-old Liam Stocker was Heeney Some Milk's oldest draftee, but it was a change-up that would help create a remarkable piece of Nana's history.
YOUTHFUL MINDSET
The 2021 draft was the last of its kind. The UUFFT selected Jack Higgins with Pick 1 after a red-hot pre-season, with Daniel Rich (HSM) and Kane Lambert (Mundy & Boak) filling out the top three.
Coaches were yet to move away from the win-now factor, ignoring youth for experienced players across the first three drafts, before it all changed in 2022.
Heeney Some Milk's disastrous start to Nana's football in 2018 saw them become the first team to commit to a rebuild which - luckily for Holland - came during a time when coaches were yet to prioritise youth.
It allowed the likes of Rowan Marshall and Connor Rozee to join Heeney Some Milk via the waiver wire, something that would never happen in today's modern Nana's era.
That decision to rebuild saw the two-win Heeney Some Milk attack the 2020 Draft with a plan to only draft first and second-year players.
While Holland missed on some, he left Tusmore Avenue with five players who would be a part of a historic premiership just one season later.
HEENEY SOME MILK'S 2020 DRAFT
1 - Matt Rowell
2 - Tom Green
41 - Lachlan Ash
44 - Noah Anderson
51 - Deven Robertson
52 - Dylan Stephens
53 - Liam Stocker
55 - Jye Caldwell
65 - Sam Flanders
73 - Hayden Young
*players in bold won a premiership in 2021
SEASON-DEFINING SLOW START
Tipped by six coaches to finish seventh in 2021, the Milkmen went 1-3 through the first four rounds, showing no glimpses of what was about to happen next.
Two waiver wire pickups would prove crucial for Heeney Some Milk, with that 1-3 record allowing Holland first dibs on Aaron Hall (FWD) and Bailey Dale (FWD), who both had enjoyed positional shifts to half back.
Hall would go on to average 109ppg while Dale averaged 81ppg, filling out Holland's forward line amongst Marshall (89.7), Rozee (67.7) and another handy waiver pickup in Darcy Cameron (69.3).
The slow start saw the Milkmen land two of the highest-averaging forwards in 2021, but the meteoric rise of the now two-time premiership club was more than just some waiver wire luck.
CAREER-BEST YEARS
Touk Miller joined Heeney Some Milk during the 2019-20 off-season, ironically in a trade involving Aaron Hall who would eventually find his way back to the Milkmen.
Miller was set to be delisted from reigning premiers Nana Winner, with Holland landing the midfielder via trade before delistings were finalised.
He averaged 80 points per game in reduced quarters in 2020, the 33rd best averaging player, before a breakout 2021 campaign set the standard for his Heeney Some Milk teammates.
Miller rocketed to a 122.1 average, cruising to a league medal as the highest-averaging player in 2021, with a whopping six other Milkmen featuring in the top-25 averaging players.
MILKMEN'S METEORIC RISE (2020 -> 2021)
Touk Miller: 80.6 (33rd overall) -> 122.1 (1st)
Ollie Wines: 77.1 (47th) -> 112.0 (6th)
Clayton Oliver: 91.71 (6th) -> 109.6 (12th)
Aaron Hall: 61.1 (163rd) -> 109.0 (13th)
Darcy Parish: 65.3 (131st) -> 106.1 (19th)
Andrew Brayshaw: 76.4 (52nd) -> 104.2 (22nd)
Daniel Rich: 69.9 (95th) -> 97.8 (33rd)
*shortened quarters in 2020
SIMPLY DOMINANT
The slow start gifted Heeney Some Milk two of the best-averaging forwards for 2021, and from round five onwards the league was never the same.
The Milkmen put up the then-second-highest total in league history (1980) in round six, and followed it up with a 355-point drubbing of the ladder-leading Gabe's Team.
The league was on notice as Heeney Some Milk - predicted to finish second-to-last - entered the bye rounds on top of the ladder after a record-breaking 2043-point performance against premiership fancies The Catholic Church.
They sat 7-4 at the bye and would not lose again until a shock qualifying final defeat to The Catholic Church.
The Milkmen still found their way to the grand final, finishing the season in fitting fashion.
By making history.
Heeney Some Milk cracked the 2000-mark in the grand final, taking down The Catholic Church 2004 to 1739.
From five wins across two seasons to becoming only the second premier in Nana's history, the Heeney Some Milk story was simply incredible, but it didn't end in 2021.
HEENEY SOME MILK 2021 GRAND FINAL
DEF: D. Rich (117), L. Ryan (92), H. Young (91), J. Harmes (81)
MID: T. Miller (133), C. Oliver (133), O. Wines (128), L. Shuey (105), A. Brayshaw (103), N. Anderson (95), D. Parish (64)
RUC: N. Naitanui (119)
FWD: A. Hall (127), R. Marshall (117), C. Rozee (87), B. Dale (78), D. Cameron (66)
UTL: L. Ash (65)
FALLING SHORT
The 2021 premiers enjoyed successful home-and-away seasons in 2022 and 2023, but failed to add to the trophy cabinet with Gabe's Team and The Catholic Church finally enjoying premiership success.
The Catholic Church broke almost every record previously set by Heeney Some Milk in its premiership-winning 2023 campaign, and looked poised to do the same in 2024.
But somehow, despite sitting 449 total points clear of second, the Choir Boys would bounce out of finals in straight sets for the second time in three seasons, with Heeney Some Milk taking on Gabe's Team in the grand final.
THE ALEX SEXTON YEAR
"I'm all in baby."
Those were the words Holland said after selecting Alex Sexton at Pick 4 in the 2024 Nana's Draft.
While the forward-cum-defender's season didn't match the pre-season hype, the move by Holland to draft the 30-year-old so early - along with a plethora of off-season moves - said enough.
Heeney Some Milk was the most active club over the off-season, parting ways with countless picks for more experienced talent.
A first-round pick turned into Toby Greene, a third-rounder became Taylor Adams, but most importantly a second rounder saw Dayne Zorko became a Milkman.
Greene, Adams and Sexton had their moments, with Sexton enjoying a five-game stretch averaging 105.4, but the unexpected resurgance of Zorko turned Heeney Some Milk back into serious contenders.
Zorko averaged 84.8 in an up-and-down 2023, but Holland was willing to run the risk for one more shot at a flag.
However, with Keidean Coleman suffering a season-ending ACL injury in Opening Round, Zorko was moved to half back and finished the season as the highest-averaging forward.
It was a stroke of luck, but it was a stroke of luck that saw Heeney Some Milk return to the top of Nana's.
Heeney Some Milk would lose just two games in 2024, defeating Gabe's Team by 86 points in the Grand Final.
HEENEY SOME MILK'S OFF-SEASON TRADES
HSM receives: Taylor Adams, two hugs
HOU receives: Will Setterfield, pick 24
XB receives: Pick 2
HSM receives: Pick 7, XB 2025 1st Round selection
HOU: Pick 7, 2025 4th Round (tied to HSM)
HSM: Toby Greene, Pick 118
HSM receives: Dayne Zorko
M&B receives: 2025 2nd round selection (tied to HSM)
NW receives: Pick 37, Pick 67, 2025 1st rounder (tied to XB)
HSM receives: Pick 4, Pick 43
HEENEY SOME MILK 1787 def GABE'S TEAM 1701
DEF: C. Salem (103), T. Atkins (100), J. Short (100), L. Ryan (94), H. Young (65)
MID: N. Anderson (126), A. Brayshaw (124), P. Dangerfield (107). D. Parish (100), T. Miller (96), T. Green (94), C. Rozee (73)
RUC: R. Marshall (110)
FWD: D. Zorko (110), T. Greene (75), T. Adams (70), B. Hill (64), Alex Davies (50)
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